Just how many eggs did Gaston eat? A not-so-critical analysis.

We all know the lyrics to the song “Gaston” in Beauty and the Beast:

When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs
Ev’ry morning to help me get large
And now that I’m grown I eat five dozen eggs
So I’m roughly the size of a barge!

This morning when I was brushing my teeth I decided I needed to figure out just how many eggs that was. As someone that sticks to “eggs whites only, please” when I order omelettes, and who has a family history of high cholesterol, I shudder to think what his LDL levels are. So I opened Notepad and Calculator (thank you, trusty comes-with-Windows-programs!) and got to work.

I realized quickly this wasn’t going to be an exact number: Gaston’s age is nowhere to be found. It’s never stated in the movie, and he isn’t even in the original fairy tale. Belle’s suitor was added to as part of a French version of the story in 1946, and there is no indication of his age. So from the get-go, any number I come up with is going to be an estimate, bummer. That won’t stop me, though!

gaston_1

So how old is Gaston? I’m going to put him at about thirty. In his quest to find a wife, we’re never given any indication that he’s been married before; for a catch like Gaston, I can’t imagine he can be much older than that while still remaining a bachelor. He seems to have had a decent amount of life experience so far, but when you look at it, these experiences seem limited to hunting and drinking. Perhaps he’s a younger brother, or at the very least, his father is still alive and he hasn’t had the responsibilities of running an estate. I would say that thirty might be a bit high, but he just looks older than his early-twenties, which is where I would place someone who has left school and hasn’t needed to do anything but take on superficial pursuits.

Okay, so, we’ll say he’s thirty. Now we just have to figure out at which point he’s “grown” and transitions from four to five dozen eggs per day. On this one, I debated between thirteen and eighteen. In eighteenth century France, the Catholic church still had a stronghold and Gaston probably went through the ritualistic confirmation at adolescence instead of infancy. That being said, while he was grown in the eyes of the church, I feel like he may not have been “grown” enough in terms of brawn to grab that extra carton of eggs every day. Let’s go with “grown” being eighteen.

gaston_2

Assuming that for the first two years of his life he wasn’t eating many “real” foods, much less eggs, the numbers are as follows:

  • 0 – 2 years = 0 eggs/day
  • 2 – 18 years = 48 eggs/day
  • 18 – 30 years = 60 eggs/day

Taking into account leap years, I’ll add four February 29ths to his childhood, and another three of them to adulthood.

  • 48 eggs/day x 365 days x 16 years = 280,320 + (48 x 4) = 280,512
  • 60 eggs/day x 365 days x 12 years = 262,800 + (48 x 3) = 262, 980

Total eggs: 543, 492

Holy smokes.

Even with some estimates, that’s still a ton of eggs. Gaston, no wonder you’re roughly the size of a barge!

 

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8 thoughts on “Just how many eggs did Gaston eat? A not-so-critical analysis.

  1. I always had this impression that Gaston would be around 25 to 28 years old. However, this post gave me a good laugh, and it contains the type of math that would normally scare me off. I guess even if he were three or five years younger, the number of eggs he would have eaten would still make him barge-sized.

  2. A fellow scholar and I are actually getting deep into Gaston’s cholesterol levels. We thought we were a natural, and so our research unique. Yet, it seems we can actually make a whole deal out of Gaston’s diet. I’m leaving our very drafty conclusions so far:
    in gaston’s song, he sings:

    “when i was a lad, i ate four dozen eggs
    every morning to help me get large
    and now that i’m grown i eat five dozen eggs
    so i’m roughly the size of a barge”

    my primary concern was how much gaston spends on eggs alone per year but then i saw the lifetime consequences were far more serious.

    i’m assuming that “as a lad” refers to him age 4 to age 18 because any younger than 4 would be stupid and greater than 18 would make him an adult. 18 – 4 is thus 14 years of egg-eating childhood.

    we’re gonna approximate the cost and say it is $3 per pack of 1 dozen eggs. thus at 4 dozen eggs a day as a lad gaston would spend $12 per day. multiply that by 365 days is $4,380 per year, times 14 years of childhood = $61,320 in that time

    so then there’s his adult life spending:
    assuming the average life span is 77 years, gaston would spend 59 years as an adult (77 year average – 18 years of childhood). as an adult he eats 5 dozen eggs per day which is $15 per day. that times 365 is $5,475, times 59 years of adult life is $323,025 over his adult life

    add in the childhood expenses and you would have gaston spending $384,345 in his lifetime.

    on eggs alone.

    BUT gaston only lives to be in his mid-20s. i’m assuming he’s somewhere between 25 and 28 so i calculated the range there. if he lives to be 25 then he spends 7 years as an adult and if he lives to be 28 he spends 10 years.

    $5,475 times 7 years = $38,325 + $61,320 for childhood = $99,645
    $5,475 times 10 years = $54,750 + $61,320 for childhood = $116,070

    so gaston would have spent between $99,645 and $116,070 on eggs in his lifetime. not including tax.

    but there is something that concerns me even more and that is how high gaston’s cholesterol levels would be.

    recommended daily cholesterol intake is 300mg per day. an average egg contains 186mg. as you can see this is going to be a problem.

    186mg x 12 eggs = 2,232mg per dozen eggs.

    as a child gaston eats 4 dozen eggs so his daily intake of cholesterol from eggs alone is 8,928mg. as an adult he eats 5 dozen eggs per day which is 11,160mg.

    multiply those by 365 and you get
    kid = 3,258,720mg per year
    adult = 4,073,400mg per year

    mind you at 300mg/day the recommended yearly intake would be 109,500mg. gaston exceeds this by something like 2976% and by 3720% as an adult

    as a result i would conclude that he is likely to develop severe heart disease within the next three years and will likely die within six without intervention, considering this counts only eggs and thus only breakfast. and that is a very very generous estimate.

    i was trying to figure out his actual cholesterol levels at the time of the movie but i don’t have a way to calculate HDL, LDL, or triglycerides without making a lot of assumptions so i guess i’m stuck with that………

    WE’LL FIGURE IT OUT. Also, when the Beast is attacked by the wolfs, he literally passes out/faints. That makes a mínimum 7′-tall animal way to heavy for Belle to put him on the horse…..

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